Heart of Steel
by RinnyRinRinArmy
Summary: Unrequited love wasn't supposed to hurt, not if you saw it coming from long, long ago. / "I know. Because... She used to look at me that way, too."


**_Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid, quite obviously._**

* * *

{She's in love with someone else.}

* * *

 _What is the importance of unrequited love?_

 _What is the definition of it? It's meaning?_

 _Unrequited love. Feelings that go deeper than just friends… and is unrequited. Not required. Not significant, not important, not needed._

 _Why is it unrequited?_

 _Ultimately, because the subject of these feelings, does not return them._

 _Usually, because the subject, has someone else. On some cases, the subject simply does not understand this complicated emotion, and refuses to acknowledge them._

 _Unrequited love causes depression, stress, and unexplained throbbing feelings in the victim's heart. This sometimes causes the person with unrequited love to find an escape route; someone to let off these unimportant feelings to. The escape route is, more often than not, another victim of unrequited love._

 _Another thing about unrequited love, is that the victims, know when it's unrequited._

 _Perhaps it was just a simple gesture the subject did, or a few simple words traded, but it made the victims realize it. The victims usually try to deny these thoughts, as if burying them deep inside, somewhere in the corner of their mind, would make them false._

 _But it doesn't._

 _Evidence piling up one after another, constant denials, secret cries behind lock doors, and the moment when it all overwhelms the victim and causes them to surrender. To accept that their feelings were not required._

 _Just because they've accepted it, doesn't mean they like it._

 _Even after they've accepted it, victims would most likely, secretly, still harbor slivers of hope that it would somehow turn into mutual love. Every single day, the tiny sliver of hope dims little by little, before it eventually evaporate into nothingness._

 _And I guess it hurts even more, because mine wasn't even unrequited at the start._

* * *

She caught my eye the first time I saw her. Of course, being kids and all, I didn't understand what the hell was the attraction - or that it even existed, but it was there. She was beautiful. Impossible to look away from, impossible to approach.

It was summer, and I was on third grade. My parents somehow made me come along with them on a business trip. They told me to make friends with a cute girl the same age as me, as she was apparently planning on transferring to my school next semester.

Her sky blue dress was as if floating in midair as she twirled, sending daffodils flying all over her. The sunshine glowed on her, making her gorgeous blond hair gold. On her face, she wore a smile brighter than the sun itself.

Her gaze caught mine, and for the first time, I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my chest. For a split second, I thought her smile widened as she rushed towards me -

and tripped over something.

She fell down with a loud thud, although she quickly got back up as fast as she fell down. Her pearl white face was then stained with a little mud here and there, and on it she wore a pout. Her dress got smeared with tweaks, worms, mud, and hell knows whatever else was down there.

Our gazes met for the second time, and I realized how identical our aquamarine eyes were. She blinked, I blinked, and then we both bursted out laughing for no apparent reason.

The girl didn't seem so hard to approach anymore, heck - for a long time, I'd forgotten my first impression of her.

* * *

When we entered Middle School, I realized she was getting taller. Her height reached my eyebrows, and for some reason, I didn't like it. I convinced myself it wasn't because she didn't need my help reaching things placed on places about three times her size anymore.

As her height grew, the distance between us did as well.

I'm not sure when exactly did it happen, or why. We just suddenly did. I think people, at some point, started saying childhood friends of the opposite sex who did every little thing together, was just too weird for them to not be dating. Perhaps that triggered it.

Rin was cute. She'd always been, she'll always be. As soon as she entered Middle School, guys seemed to notice her even more. A crowd of both genders would gather around her every day, saying things probably a lot more fun than any of the words we've ever traded.

We started having less and less conversations. In fact, the only times we did talk were when we walked home together, and vice versa. Rin had a lot to talk about. Her new friends, 'weird' guys who randomly told her they liked her, something funny who said to who at some point that day, what who did at whatever time she told Rin.

Before long, Rin and I started signing up for clubs, and that ended our little chats.

She'd actually try to talk to me every once in awhile, and over time, they started feeling more and more forced. I started to push her away, and at some point, she stopped trying. She didn't need me anymore. A childhood friend isn't someone you should stick around with; they'd judge for everything you do because back then, you weren't like that.

I started regaining back my first impression of Rin after we stopped talking, or maybe it was _because_ we grew apart that I regained it. Looking at her then felt blissful. She was like a distant memory, a window to the past we used to have.

I thought she was beautiful. She was already flawless without make-up, but for some reason, she started applying them. At P.E., everyone praised her for her ridiculously astounding gifts for everything sport-related, but I realized nothing about her physical body had grown aside from her height. Rin started wearing shorter skirts, and she stopped running around the neighborhood every Saturday morning.

I was walking home after my soccer club, when I passed an alley. It was a dark, abandoned alley with only a few lights to keep it from being absolutely black. I wanted to pass by it quickly, any fights and I'd tarnish my horrible school's reputation even more. With my brain, I was barely scraping off school. I didn't need any extra trouble.

But then I heard her.

It was low and subtle, easy to ignore. People could easily mistake it as some sound from a movie, from a television, or just their paranoia kicking in. But not me. I would never be able to mistake her voice.

I ran and then I saw her, in all her glory. Trapped between more than just a few shady adults, stuck in a position where she could barely move her fingers. I couldn't think, I just did. She meant more to me than some school's reputation. I think Rin couldn't help but snicker a bit when I arrived. She knew I'd come.

After I freed her, I locked gazes with her for the first time in a while. A certain look flashed in her eyes, and she averted them. Only then that I realized I had been wrong about her school life. Her look never changed, because it was the same expression all along.

Rin had never been happy about her school life.

Instead of trying to understand her, I pushed her away, convincing myself she didn't need me. Rin had always loved sports. Outdoor activities. Ever since she moved schools, she stopped doing them. She couldn't. Social standards and rules - unspoken ones, even, made her unable to. She had a duty to respond to everyone's expectations, and she was barely pulling trough. There were probably more, more I didn't know, and didn't make an effort to.

To the wavering Rin in front of me, I could only hug her. She gripped my uniform tightly and started crying, not stopping even when we reached her house. I had dinner at Rin's that night, her small hands never letting go of my wrist. She didn't say anything to me that day. She didn't need to.

I made a silent vow to never leave her ever again.

Rin and I decided to join only the same clubs as each other after that.

* * *

Somewhere in the middle of Middle School, I realized I loved Rin.

It started out as just a thought, a playful ' _what if?_ ', and it didn't even come from me. Rin and I hung out with Miku and Mikuo, tealettes with the same grin plastered on their face on Middle School. Mikuo came over to me one random day, and asked, "So how far have you and Rin gotten?"

I shrugged it off and pretended I was oblivious to what he was saying, being the dense, ice-cold guy I was somehow known for. Mikuo started talking about how long have Rin and I known each other, comparing it to me and him and whatnot. What he was talking about bored me, so I only paid half attention.

"But man, that angelic smile of hers really is of a Goddess's." He suddenly said, sinking his head to his arms, on his eyes were casted a dreamy look. "If you two really do have no strings attached, I'mma make my move, all right?"

If before I was hardly paying any attention, I completely zoned out after those words. Mikuo could be talking about math equations, or world domination, hell if I cared. The thought of Rin with some other guy who wasn't me, somewhere doing who-knows-what with not-me nearly made me want to go bald.

Sure, Rin always had guys confessing to her and stuff, but she never really acknowledged any of them. Hell, I don't think she actually ever had a real conversation with any of them. But if someone close to her - like Mikuo - actually confesses to her and she seriously responds, I'd be devastated.

Needless to say, I couldn't get the thought out of my head the whole day.

"Errr, Rin?" I started, clutching the bag I held tightly as we walked home together, "This might be weird and private and awkward 'n all, but I'll ask anyway, yeah?"

Rin didn't say anything. She peered over my face curiously, as if urging for me to continue. I took a deep breath and stared up ahead.

"I-If Mikuo were to c-confess to you, how would you react?" I asked. For some reason, Rin stopped at that question. I stopped too, and noticed she had her bangs covering her aquamarine orbs. "I don't… I wouldn't… I wouldn't go out with him."

Seeing her state, it would probably be best for me to stop talking about the matter, but I couldn't help myself. It was the song of the siren.

"Why not?"

Rin averted her eyes to her right, on them an emotion I couldn't put my finger at. Her cheeks were flushed red, which should be in contrast with her strawberry pink lips, but she covered them with her hands. The orange sun was reflected on her hair, making them as if shining a thousand different colors. Mikuo was right. Rin was an angel.

"He's not… the one I like."

 _"I'm…Rin… Yes, that's my name!"_

 _"Let's play!"_

 _"…Thank you._ _"_

 _"…Hey, Rinto...?"_

 _"I think I'll just... Join the same clubs as you."_

That one sentence, coming from her, made me feel relieved beyond imagination. Then again, the only thing on my mind at that moment was a single sentence.

 _I love you._

"..."

"..."

"Is that... so...?"

* * *

I had planned to confess to Rin by the time we graduate.

It would be my reward, after passing those damn tests.

However, when we started senior year, the teachers called me out because I was in a dangerous position. Apparently, I might not graduate.

The thought pissed me off.

Not graduating? Me? Who the hell did they think they were?

I kicked tables, chairs, destroyed anything I could, snapped at everyone who'd try to talk to me. Never mind listening to damn teachers, I skipped classes the whole day.

It was seventh period, I think, when I fell asleep at the rooftop. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I meant to close my eyes and just stay like that for awhile. I was glad I did, though, because when I came to, I found a comforting pair of aquamarine eyes staring back at me.

Rin came along at some point and rested my head on her lap. She did that a lot, so I didn't bother to blush and act like a high school girl.

"You know, I heard."

I averted my eyes and rested my head on my arm. Part of me was pissed that she, of all people, had to bring that up. Part of me was glad that she, of all people, was the one who brought it up. Actually, I think more than a few people tried to. Rin was the only one who had the courage to actually say it. Straight up, no jokes.

"Hnn." It came out harsher than I intended it to. "And? Want me to start calling you ' _Senpai_ '?"

Rin didn't react to my harsh words.

Instead, she said,

"If that happens, I'll stay behind, too."

I turned to her to guess what she was thinking, but Rin wasn't even staring at me. She had fixed her sitting position to see whatever it was she was seeing. I trailed her gaze and found a gorgeous orange sun that was beginning to set, taking any trace of light that was left. Mesmerized by it's beauty, somehow, I found myself fixing my sitting position, too. Rin's fingers found their way to mine, and I intertwined them softly.

 _Graduation is forever later._

"I love you."

Rin jolted and turned to me, her cheeks flushed red again and our fingers still intertwined.

"H-Huh?"

"I love you." I repeated and lifted one of my eyebrows, smirking, enjoying the plain embarrassed expression on her face. "Not as a little sister, or a childhood friend, or a family member. I love you as a woman - well, girl, have you even hit puberty yet?"

"Where did that come from?" Rin pulled away her hand and scratched her cheeks. "I wasn't-We were talking about our future! Graduation! Important stuff!"

"So this isn't important, then?"

"What are you talk-"

I didn't let her finish as I put my lips on hers. It was quick, and clumsy, and perfect. Rin didn't react at first, but she kissed back after a few moments. Our teethes clunked, which made me sure we weren't doing it right, and it somewhat hurt, but I didn't really care.

"I want you to be my girlfriend."

Rin didn't say anything. Instead, she stared at the setting sun in front of us again, her cheeks cherry red and a goofy smile on her lips.

I took that as a yes.

* * *

I'd always loved Rin's laugh.

That, I knew before I even realized I was in love with her.

It was easy to make her laugh. When she laughs, she wouldn't laugh all out immediately. She'd start by curling her lips to a little, goofy smile she couldn't help, before getting wider and wider into the big laugh. What I loved wasn't just her laughter, but those precious moments when she tries to keep herself from laughing.

After we miraculously graduated, we entered high school. Yamaha Art School, to be more exact.

There were students from different schools than ours, but one in particular stood out. He had the same honey-blond hair as the two of us, and the same aquamarine eyes - only his were a deeper shade of blue. The guy had a little chunk of his hair tied into a ponytail and called himself "Len".

I don't think Len had any interest in Rin at first. We all got to know each other, as friends. Len was the complete opposite of Rin. He loved classical music while she listened to stations that played the same, boring, pop music over and over again. He preferred to stay inside and read books while Rin would jump at any mention of the outdoors. He was an introvert, while she was an extrovert.

There was something about Rin that just attracts you, and with Len, something about him just pushes you away. Maybe that's why they mesh together so awkwardly well.

Something was wrong with Rin. Sure, she'd smile and laugh and fool around like she always did, but none of them were genuine. She'd immediately burst out laughing, not holding it back anymore. Others wouldn't have noticed these things, but I did.

Making her laugh wasn't so easy anymore.

Rin, Len, and I planned to go to the summer festival together.

Rin wore a stunningly beautiful, golden yukata. It complimented her then-long hair that she tied into a bun. The yukata was ridiculously tight, hugging the curves she had. I made a mental note that it had to be her mother's idea. Rin noticed me staring and blushed, immediately hitting me after that.

She did the same thing to Len.

I ordered some takoyakis for the three of us. I knew Rin loved spicy things, so I had hers extremely spicy. Since Len was the complete opposite of Rin, I assumed he hated spiciness, and with that I ordered him so.

When I came back to the two, Rin was all about holding her laughters.

I took a seat beside Rin, and she smiled at me goofily, immediately taking her share of takoyaki from my hands.

 _I see, so that's how it is._

I knew her smile and laugh didn't belong to me anymore.

Len took his share and, unlike Rin, bothered to say "thanks" to me, and started eating his carefully. Rin and him both peered over at me curiously with complete innocence on their faces.

 _And neither of them has realized it yet, ah, how troublesome…_

At the time, I denied my realization, blaming it on staminas and fireworks and Rin's mesmerizing stare and what-not. I told myself it was just my imagination; paranoia, that I was starting to become the possessive, sick asshole type Rin hated.

I shook my head and stared down at my share of takoyaki, which had a decent amount of spicy flavor.

Two days after that, Len and I found out that Rin's dad had been hospitalized for the last one month and sixteen days.

However, he got back on his feet about a week after.

* * *

Rin and I always went to _Pricilla's Smoothy Stand_ on Fridays. It was an unspoken agreement between her and I. Tired after our respective clubs, we'd chill at the said place and tell stories about our days.

"Oioi, Rinto!" Rin called out one Friday afternoon, running towards me excitedly with a brochure on her tiny hands. I lifted her off the ground and kissed her, laughing because I made her face turn red just as fast as I made her hit me, telling me not to do stuff like that on public.

"So, umm... Len and I have to go to the amusement park later, as... as a part of the Film Club's activities." Rin was struggling to find the right words, probably because she wasn't used to actually asking me for permission - especially about Len. " _Fantasy World_ , heard of it? You see, we have to turn the footages over next week, and umm... The only time we can spare is, uhh..."

"Why are you asking me for permission? You know you can do anything you want." I lifted one of my eyebrows. Rin's eyes widened for a second, before she squinted them, as if she herself just realized what she was doing and didn't understand why.

Unfortunately for me, or maybe her, or maybe him, I wasn't as oblivious as I looked.

"Can I come with you two? I haven't been there in ages." I smiled meekly and scratched my neck. A flash of relief sparked on Rin's face, but she quickly covered it with excitement. With a cute, genuine smile on her face, she nodded.

Len wasn't quite as happy as Rin, but he masked it all the same.

Hanging out together, the three of us, made me realize just how much Len and Rin attracted each other. They say opposites attract, and that is somewhat true, but couples with opposing personalities usually end up divorced. The ones that make it through, however, lived the rest of their lives as two halves of the same whole.

Rin and Len would joke around and accidentally touch each others' hands - pushing the other hand away immediately after, of course. The sparks between them were neither awkward nor forced, much like couples these days. The sparks were just innocently natural, as if they were made to be that way.

I shook off my thoughts and took my place beside Rin, smirking and throwing friendly mocks as if I belonged there, too.

I did belong there.

I _did_.

It was after we rode the roller coaster that both Len and I got motion sickness. Rin, being the angel she is, felt responsible because she was the one who suggested the roller coaster and offered to buy drinks for the three of us, her treat.

By the time Rin promised she'd be back, she was still nowhere to be found. Len and I got crazy worried and started to look for her. Rin had a tendency to get lost, so I guess I was partly at fault for letting her go.

We eventually found Rin on a corner by herself, her knee sprained and her jeans torn apart. On her face were scratches and wounds, fresh velvet red liquid still pouring out of it. Not just a tendency to get lost, despite her cute face, Rin also had a tendency to get into fights. I just never found anyone who could hurt her that bad.

I'm not sure when the memories appeared, but they waltzed inside my mind without taking off their shoes.

Memories of the only time I saw Rin cry, when everything I thought I knew about her was falling apart, when she showed me an extremely rare, fragile part of her. When she exhausted herself to the point where she was questioning herself the reason she even did it in the first place.

Len recovered from the shock faster than I did, and quickly rushed to Rin's side. He started tearing off pieces of his own clothes to cover up Rin's wounds, whispering sweet words to Rin so that it wouldn't hurt that bad.

While the two were occupied, I left them alone and blindly searched for whoever did it to Rin. I hazily remember asking everyone if they saw Rin getting beaten up. It wasn't an effective choice, but I had lost my ability to remain calm and think thoroughly.

When I finally obtained information on who did it to Rin, I rushed to every corner of the amusement park to find the damn bastards. I thought of what would happen if Rin was taken away from me, if I was never able to see her again.

Len was the one who found me - right after I finished the last guy. On his eyes were reflected my own, a shade of of confusion and fear. I looked at my hands and saw the same velvet red liquid I saw on Rin. I looked around me, but I couldn't identify where I was.

"Rinto."

Len's voice was collected, and yet, shaky. I concluded that it took everything in him to muster up that single word.

"Where is she?" I asked, the only thing on my mind at the moment.

"Oh, she's… She's okay." Len started relieved, but then spoke with reassuring confidence. "I left her on the sanctuary room after Miku and Mikuo arrived. I called Miku beforehand, you see. I… She… Rin was worried about you. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she mentioned was your name."

"Did I...?"

"No, look around you." Len smiled - though it didn't reach his eyes. "They're all on ground, no need to worry. Just... Really badly wounded."

I came back to Rin, and with her birthday a week before and our exams a month later, I proposed.

In front of Miku, in front of the nurses, in front of Mikuo, in front of Len.

It was probably nothing like what Rin had imagined, though I wasn't even sure she cared about those things. The nurses tended to me - Len offered to help out, but the thought of another guy aiding me made me want to puke, and apparently there were no severe damages so I only got my hand wrapped in a bandage.

After getting my wounds treated, I went to Rin's room with Len. Miku was beside her, chatting her up cheerfully with Mikuo watching over the two quietly. Even covered with with bandages, she was still a Goddess. I remember eyeing the orange sun I was then used to glow in her aquamarine orbs that perfectly reflected my own. I remember her smiling and laughing along, often making ridiculous comebacks that made Miku shed tears and Mikuo, every once in awhile, crack a smile. I remember her hands that, every few seconds, would grip her own blanket tightly. I remember her smiling a bit too widely and a bit too long.

I remember blaming myself that she was put in said condition.

I took a random wire in the corner of the room, and bent it so that it would be shaped like a ring. It definitely wasn't fancy, but it'd have to do. I'd have to buy a real ring later on. A golden ring with a sapphire on it, like her golden-blond hair and mesmerizing aquamarine eyes.

It wasn't even a question, I just went through with it.

When Rin was busy laughing at Len's remark about her feet, I sneaked to the middle of the group and slid the wire trough Rin's small ring finger. Everyone was dumbfounded, probably wondering what the hell was it, but Rin merely stared at it, her face as red as the first time I kissed her.

"O~kay, with this, we're engaged."

Rin turned her gaze towards me and pouted, though it didn't hide her cherry red face well.

"…Y-Yeah…?" Rin mumbled lowly while looking down before she turned her face towards me, her palms rolled to a fist and her voice heightening, "Uuu, Rinto you idiot! There are proper procedures for these things! You need to ask my parents for permission first, you know? You need to actually ask me the question and propose, you know? You need to-"

 _Ahh, so she does care…_

 _Well, whatever, no rejections means she accepted._

* * *

It was after I asked Rin's dad for blessings, that I finally realized it.

I'm not sure what happened between Rin and Len, but as a fellow man, I realized that the latter finally came to terms with his own feelings. After all, he saw me proposing right in front of his eyes, and he couldn't do anything about it.

The days seemed to pass by so fast it was a blur. After I proposed, we tried to pretend like nothing happened and go on with our usual lives. Somehow we made it through, passed tests after countless nights of studying, graduated, and I finally, officially proposed to Rin. I had the ring custom-made, so it could be exactly as I pictured it. With support from everyone, I asked Rin's parents for their permission, and they granted it.

Of course, we were aware of the fact that we couldn't start a family right away. After getting married, we decided we'd still try for college and the likes, you know, our dreams.

After I got the blessings, Rin, Len, Miku, Mikuo, and I went to a karaoke place to celebrate. We laughed, joked, drank booze, sang, everything. Despite my drunken state, I was still aware of Len's empty smile and blank gaze. Miku and Mikuo walked Rin to her house since I said I owed something to Len and wanted to take care of it that night.

He looked sad. Impossibly sad. Always wearing that giant grin with those dead, blank eyes of his. I think he blames himself. For not taking a chance, for even thinking of taking a chance. For being satisfied, for wanting more. I could relate to it, somewhat. After all, I more or less realized his feelings way, way sooner than he himself did.

Unlike him, I just wasn't cowardly and still went on the offensive.

"If you keep on looking like that, Rin's going to get worried." I said, pouring wine to a glass and handed it over to him. Len didn't react to it at all, and a forced, shaken grin played out on his lips. "Rin? Worried about me? You, of all people, should know better than that."

"No, _you_ , of all people, should realize that." I glared at him before drinking the wine I poured out for him. He wasn't going to drink it anyway, what kind of man was I to let good wine go to waste? "You can stop with that act, you foolish, disgusting pussy. Seeing you smile all forced like that makes me - well, I don't care, but it bothers Rin, so stop."

"Act…? What could you be talking about, sir fiancée?" Len didn't stop grinning, neither did he look at me. "This… is the only thing a fool beyond saving like me is able to do."

"That's right, you're a fool." I repeated Len's words.

 _…And yet it's no wonder she…_

"You're a fool." I repeated to myself.

I wonder if it's not obvious to them - the way it's painstakingly obvious to me. Are they just idiots, or are they simply struggling to keep the façade? A façade that everyone sees through - including they themselves - and yet, none really bother to acknowledge?

At that point, I no longer knew if my suspicions were directed at him, her, or me myself.

"…I'm a fool."

 _Because even though I realized all of it, I still…_

"But you're also a coward." I said clearly and loudly so he couldn't pretend not to hear me. "If you continue to ponder which is right and which is wrong, both will turn out to be wrong, you know?"

"…Can you stop talking like you know everything?" Len sounded harsher than I ever heard him. "…Or that the matter doesn't concern you at all? After all, the one keeping up the façade the most is you yourself, you hypocrite."

I widened my eyes as Len said that, before chuckling a bit. The guy wasn't as dumb as I ought him to be.

"You think?" I laughed out-loud, scratching the back of my neck. "I personally don't see it that way."

 _At least, if there's anyone I'm lying to, it's myself._

"You never see anything my way." Len stopped grinning and covered his eyes with his hands. "How can you be so reckless for her sake? Why don't I have the strength…? How can you stand tall like that, defending her with no shed of doubt in your eyes? How can I even think of intervening… When I'm a moron… Can't even protect her..."

"Look, I love her." I said straightforwardly and waited for Len's reaction to find none. "I really do, with all my heart."

"…I know."

"And I know _you_ love her." I couldn't help but smile a bit when Len's grip tightened. "I know you always have, that you kept denying it for her sake, and though you'll never admit it - mine, too."

"…I know."

"And as a man, I'd like to win her fair and square." I closed my eyes and crossed my arms across my chest. "…You still have a chance with her. As long as we haven't said our vows yet. And until then, I give you permission to try and win her. Because even I… don't know who she actually…"

 _…Still lying to yourself?_

 _You know, don't you?_

"Why are you doing this, Rinto?"

 _The person she actually has in her heart._

 _Of course you do._

"You can easily pretend you didn't notice and have your happy ending."

 _That's right, you've actually noticed since long, long ago._

 _Because back then, she…_

"She used to… look at me that way, too…"

"…?"

"Just remember," I opened my eyes and sneered at Len, "If you make her sad at all, put any sort of harm on her way, or if you don't make her happy in any way, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"Gotcha." Len said without much doubt, laughing almost immediately after he said it. "Aren't those my words, Romeo?"

* * *

"Rinto? What's wrong?" Mikuo's voice pulls me back to reality, his big, teal eyes blocking my field of vision. I shove him out of the way, and Mikuo grins as if he expected me to. He slicks his hair back and scratches his neck. "Spacing out on your wedding day isn't exactly great, y'know."

"Uhh… Sorry." I mumble, the memories I was reminiscing lingers on my mind. "I was thinking about a lot of things. Remembering things, recalling things. Turns out there are stuff I still remember clearly, although they happened ages ago."

I stop for a bit.

"…Or maybe 'simply can't forget' would do better…?"

"About whom, exactly?" Mikuo sneers in a way I half-expected him, too. The façade that had been going on for at least three years - everyone saw through it, after all. They just pretended otherwise. I throw my head back and grin in response to him sneering. "About the princess, the knight, and the prince."

"What happened to them?" Mikuo asks with probably, pure curiosity.

"The knight saved the princess, right? From the tower with the dragon thing. The princess was supposed to fall in love with the knight, right? Then they're supposed to get married and live happily ever after, yeah? Ain't that how the story goes?"

"And she did… Except she didn't." Mikuo says in a knowing sort of way, making me send a glare his way. "The princess did fall in love with the knight, as did the knight with the princess. On their way back to the kingdom, the knight protected the princess with all his might, making her love him even more. However, in the castle, she met the prince. Different in every way from the knight, and nothing like she's ever known. The princess and the prince were doomed to fall in love with each other. What happens after that, is...?"

"The knight knew, though he pretended otherwise. As did the prince, though he kept denying it." I bite my lips. The next part is the tough part. "The knight loved the princess very much. However, dumb as he may be, he could see that he was no longer the one she had in her heart. Despite what everyone said, the knight knew that he was destined to bear an unrequited love for the princess. He knew he was meant to protect her, and only to protect her."

"The knight also knew, that the prince wasn't a terrible guy." I smile at myself for a bit. "Weak, clumsy, and a pussy, yes, but he wasn't bad. The knight knew that, despite not being able to say it, the prince loved the princess dearly. Though he was weak, he'd give everything to protect her. Though he was a pussy, he'd do anything to make her smile. Though he was anything but strong, the princess couldn't help but trust him a little bit more than the knight."

"So the knight put the prince to a test."

"Huh?"

"Ahaha, well even I don't know what happens next, Mikuo." I laugh half-heartedly. "If you wanna know what happens next, you'll have to finish the book yourself!"

"I don't think the princess getting married to the knight is such a bad thing. I mean, he protected her and all… Should be natural, right? They - He deserved it." Mikuo shrugs, straightening his tie.

I nod and grin at him.

"Of course it isn't a bad idea. After all, that's what'll happen if the prince doesn't pass the test. So far, he's not doing so great, and the time's running out, too. Who knows, though? The prince has always been full of surprises."

Mikuo grins back.

Then everything's as if fast-forwarded to me. Maybe it's because I don't want to remember. Because I don't want to let myself believe this is how it should be. I trail back to the days when it was just me and Rin, laughing and playing pranks at whoever was unlucky enough.

My eyes blink back to focus, and I realize I am standing at the altar. I turn my head, and notice the hall's filled with people. My friends, your friends, our friends, my family, your family. The crowd is missing a single person, the most important piece, but no matter.

In the middle of them, I see you. And fucking hell, you look gorgeous. You bothered to tie your hair up to a simple bun. Looks pretty weird, because you never bother to even brush it on usual days. But good weird, I guess. I'm not sure what they did to your face - because it looks as amazing as always, the only difference is that your eyes sparkle a bit more, and your smile's a bit too wide. I catch your gaze, and the smile grows wider, as if you're saying sorry. The white dress you and Miku picked a few weeks ago fits you perfectly. It's a simple dress, really. The dress goes all the way to the floor, and it's skin-tight, hugging your curves the way they shouldn't.

You really shouldn't look like that, you know?

 _Because if you do, I might just fall even more…_

Beside you, I see your dad. Menacing as always, he glares at me like he always does. Except, maybe it's just me, but the small tweaks of his mouth forms a tiny smile. It disappears as soon as I notice it, though, replaced by his usual scowl.

The orchestra begins to play, and I can't keep myself from thinking how fairy tale-like this is. After all, I'm practically waiting for _him_ to interrupt our wedding and then propose to you.

All of a sudden, you're beside me. Your dad releases you from his arms to my arms. I see you hesitating for a second, before your arms intertwine with mine. They're as soft as always, and sweaty, but you'd kill me if I said that out-loud.

The pastor begins his speech. I don't really pay attention, and I'm not sure you are, either. You look both guilty and nervous, and in a sense, I am, too. For completely different reasons, though. Your eyes keep averting to the crowd, and despite knowing who you're searching for, I don't say anything.

I wonder for a second if this is how those grooms feel in movies where the bride runs away with another guy. This anticipating, horrible, horrible feeling of just waiting for it to be over. Knowing is both a gift and a curse, after all. I think back to the things I was reminiscing a few minutes ago.

If we hadn't met him, I wonder if we would be standing here right now. I shook away my thoughts. I decided I only wanted for you to be happy. So that means, feeling this way is just unacceptable, right? I was the one who allowed it. My eyes drift to the clock. _The prince is running out of time_ , I chant in my head silently.

When I blink back to focus, I notice everyone's quiet, waiting for something. I blink and, without much thought, say, "I do."

The crowd settles back, but I see you still eyeing the clock nervously. You aren't waiting for the same thing the crowd was. You're hoping for him to come, to take you with him, to steal you away from me. You quickly turn your gaze back to me so people wouldn't notice, and in them I see guilt. So much guilt. More than you can bear.

All of a sudden, I feel sick to the core. I know you love him, I do. I know he feels the same way, I do. I've known, for a very, very long amount of time. So I wonder why I still hope that isn't the case. That deep inside, maybe I saw things wrong. Shouldn't knowing make it easier?

The time comes for you to say your vow. I see you open your mouth softly, closing them, before opening them again. I see your eyes nervous and still hoping, waiting. I see you clenching your fists quietly, at war with yourself.

 _Damn it, I really do love you._

When you finally muster up the courage to speak, the hall doors open grandly and we finally see Prince Charming. Sweaty, panting, beaten up, but his eyes still shining with plain, simple determination. The crowd gasps, some only smile, knowing.

As all the guilt and nervousness in your eyes turn to gladness, I clench my own fists, regretting everything.

* * *

 ** _Hiya! I had this idea on my mind for awhile now, and I started writing this down, I dunno, a few days ago. Maybe weeks? See, when I write, I write whenever I have the urge to, so it takes time. I love Rinto, he's like my fav male Vocaloid. Because, he's the guy version of Rin. Duh. I also feel like I write too many Rin and Len, so yeah. But this is also Rin and Len centered… I mean, this one is from Rinto's POV, at least…? I also want to make Rinto Rin's childhood friend for a change._**

 ** _If you don't get the ending - I know, it's simple and easy so most of you probably get it, but still! Uhh, how about this, if you don't get it, you can go ahead and PM me! It might take me forever to reply, but hey... Oh, but if you send the PM to my Chocolatesaregood account, it won't take forever._**

 ** _Favorite and/or follow if you enjoyed, please! Leave me a review, because I really do enjoy reading them and it motivates me to make another chapter sooner, faster, yeah! If you have any interest in what else I might be working on, check out my profile! I write about Fairy Tail and Sket Dance on my Chocolatesaregood account, and Vocaloid on my other account, RinnyRinRinArmy._**

 _ **Also, Happy New Year!**_

 ** _Much Love,_**

 ** _Skye_**


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